Thursday, December 31, 2009


If I could say one thing to this year it'd be: Fuck You.

Seriously, I'm not sure I've ever been so excited to start a new year.

I started this year off badly, in another miserable relationship with a self-centered douche bag. I was kicking myself so hard for not running like hell when I had the chance. Come February though, I reconnected with John and started building up the friendship we had missed out on the first time around. In March I moved into one of his spare rooms and thought this year started looking up.

In April I had to take my baby all the way to NC in a last-ditch effort to save him. After two weeks, I left him there with a feeling of dread. That feeling was right when two months later I was forced to allow him to be put to sleep because of something that wasn't his fault. I never got to say goodbye and my heart still aches every time I think of him. The anger and bitterness has faded but I'm not sure it will ever be gone.

Then one morning John and I woke up to find that our house had been burglarized in the middle of the night, everything electronic was taken. This started a never-ending hate for the house and the rental company. To top it off, we were broken into again a few months ago. This time they watched for everyone to be out of the house before tearing it apart in the middle of the day.

So much death happened this year; celebrities out the wazoo, pets we cared for and people we loved. I even lost quite a few relatives before I met them.

Also, fuck you job market..

Despite all this absolutely awful butt-fuckery, good things have happened this year.

I've gotten to watch both of my nieces grow from creepy looking crying machines to beautiful walking and chattering little girls.

We took in a stray cat from our backyard and she's become a loving and amazingly fun part of our family and I couldn't be happier calling myself a cat owner.

I've gotten to spend more time with the girls and love being a part of each others lives. To all the times we've gotten drunk and been there for each other. In this, I've also gotten to see a friend finally get into rehab and get the help he so desperately needed. I'm really proud of him and his woman as well.

To top this all off, the best point of this year/my life had happened and John and I got back together. The breakup had allowed us both to grow a lot and made us better people who were able to deal with a serious relationship. We're able to talk and fight now, we can read each others moods and actually enjoy spending time together. I know that he is the absolute love of my life and I want to spend the rest of my years, no matter how good or shitty, with him.
I love you John.

So the end of 2009 and the end of the decade.. I raise my glass, flip you off and drink myself into the start of a fucking amazing 2010.